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The Final Jerry Springer Show

Posted on September 8, 2010 at 4:11 PM

For those who don't speak Spanish, the wife's name is a bit of an inside joke. Verdugo is Spanish for "executioner."

 

 

This should have been foreseen. The video that would go viral on youtube that caused the downfall of Springer as one of the boob tube’s greatest “sleaze hosts,” was no accident. It looked like any other show.

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“Our first guest has been married to the same man for ten years, let’s meet Lupe Verdugo.”

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A dark-skinned Mexican woman with a hostile gaze walks out in high heels. The tall security man follows her with a chair, and she sits down on it center stage.

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“What’s going on, Lupe?” says Jerry.

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“Well Jerry,” she begins as do all guests, “my husband is a ******* pig! I know for a fact that he’s been ******** my twin sisters for the last six months. Look at this video that was captured by the security cameras in my house!” The video is played for the studio audience and they are witness to a sexual act between three people that is worthy of any porno shot in the San Fernando Valley. Catholic women in the audience are making the sign of the cross.

“Are we charging admission for this?” jokes Springer. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be flip about this, but if you have the proof, why are you here?”

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“Because I want to see the ********** try and deny this,” Lupe says defiantly.

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“How do you know he’s a **********?”

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“Well, I’ve never seen him actually **** ****. That’s a figure of speech.”

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“OK, let’s bring out her husband, Federico, AND her two sisters, Maria and Pasodoble.” Two blond Mexican women enter and kick off their shoes, followed by a mustachioed man looking a bit sheepish.

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As soon as they approach, Lupe stands and starts screaming, “You two ******* pendejas, Espero que usted come mierda y muere! And as for YOU!” She steps over to Federico and stomps on the top of his left shoe with her right high-heeled foot. The man screams in pain, and then Lupe reaches under her skirt and pulls out a 9mm Beretta and squeezes off a round each into the foreheads of her sisters, one in the chest of Federico, and one in the neck of the hapless host.

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The camera moves over to Springer lying wounded on the floor and gets a shot of him as the horrified crowd watches in silence. With his last breath he says, “La comedia ha terminado.” (The comedy is over, in Spanish)

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FADE TO BLACK

Categories: Fan Fiction, Horror

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2 Comments

Reply jipper
6:18 PM on September 8, 2010 
I can only wish this to really happen.
Please...make it so.
Reply Admin Frank
7:23 PM on September 8, 2010 
We can dream.... uh, I mean...