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Lindsay Lohan in the year 2020

Posted on September 24, 2010 at 7:06 PM

January 20, 8:30 a.m. The blonde actress who is now on the wrong side of 30 years old gets into her Escalade and is being driven to the Beverly Hills Courthouse AGAIN…for the 50th time. This was another instance of her being too coked up as well as drunk when she went to the Viper Room. When the cop pulled her over on Santa Monica Boulevard, it was at a place that would cause a major traffic jam in the right lane.

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Choppers were buzzing around with bright lights like flies at a picnic on that fateful evening.

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“Well Lindsay, you don’t mind if I call you by your first name, do you?” said the officer as he trained his Mag-Lite flashlight with six D-cells (the big mothers that they used to refer to as “nigger beaters”) briefly, upon her cleavage

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“By now we should be on a goddamned first name basis,” she snapped. He aimed the light at her feet and took a gander at her matching electronic ankle bracelets.

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“Nice pair,” he said, and smiled. “Could I see your drivers’ license and your registration, please?” he asked politely. Lindsay fumbled with the glove compartment. Boxes of condoms, panties, and a Ziploc bag of blow fell out onto the floor.

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He immediately spotted the illegal stuff. She grabbed the registration and handed it along with a C note to the officer. “You’re not trying to bribe me, are you, Lindsay?”

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“Of course not,” she replied.

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“I thought so,” said the officer, as he stuffed the bill into his pocket. So she received a ticket as well as a summons to appear before a judge.

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Fast forward back to the present. All the way to the courthouse she was texting on her cell phone and calling her publicist. When she arrived, Lindsay was in shock. There were no paparazzi, no choppers, no well-wishers, no hecklers, no one to see her. She turned to the streets and yelled, “Hello? I’m Lindsay Lohan! I’m going to jail again…Doesn’t anyone care? Anymore?”

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She tried to call any of her friends, her father and mother, but found that everyone EVEN HER PUBLICIST has blocked her calls. She felt alone.  :(

Categories: Fan Fiction

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