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The Nightmare

Posted on December 29, 2010 at 8:41 PM


It was past two in the morning of the 12th of January in 2004, just two weeks past my exit out of the United States Army. I had went to bed without too many cares in the world besides finding a job, I had endured a harsh time in the service of eleven months and three days, never making permanent party status due to a leg injury. When I was discharged, I didn’t give a rat’s behind but to live life, something I couldn’t really do much while I was under the realm of a drill sergeant during my time in the service.

To the nightmare, I fell asleep and had a dream of being in a Grand Theft Auto 3-style (3D) video game. For those who remember that game, it was quite similar to the nightmare/game itself, weapons indicator, life meter by number on the right. I couldn’t quite recall if there was a score. The thing was that most GTA games are usually taking place most of the time in the outdoors. This unknown game with a third-person view had me inside an old industrial building with weapons I can pick up, just like the GTA’s have to offer. As I look at it now, back in the day, I was catching up Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, playing that game a whole bunch.

Unlike the GTA’s, instead of fighting with other artificial intelligent people designed to be against you or neutral, I was fighting semi-intelligent horrific artificial headless beings. There sure were a ton of these monsters who ran at me. But the great thing that kept me alive was all the weapons and ammunition that these headless things left behind. Funny, if they had these weapons and to them, I was public enemy number one, why don’t they shoot at me opposed to just changing at me with their hands out.

After a while of fighting these headless things, I remembered that somehow, a deformed-faced being wearing a sweater and some jeans had joined me in the two-man war (hey, ya guyz!).

This game also had some rather strange circus music to go along with it. For a best comparison, there is a Sega Genesis game called Bart’s Nightmare. And yes, it’s a Simpson’s-based game. The game’s storyline starts with Bart doing his homework all the way into the midnight hours. He falls asleep and awakes to a nightmare (what a coincidence) of him walking down his street, attempting to recover his assignment papers that were blown away out the window. While playing the game, when you recover a piece of paper floating around, you get to play a bonus level to keep that assignment.

One of these bonus games is called Itchy & Scratchy vs. Bart (according to the manual as I remember renting the game back in 95). Most people reading this have the basic idea who Itchy & Scratchy are, need I say more? The bonus game explains itself with the title, Itchy & Scratchy take turns running after Bart with various weapons inside 742 Evergreen Terrace. The music in that bonus stage was a helluva lot similar to what this nightmare had to offer. Silly-ass circus music, yay!

After all these headless beings met their doom with loads of ammunition from me and my new deformed-faced friend, we had got to what is the end of the level. Two big red doors that had opened, however, a boss (a battle with a stronger enemy particularly at the end of the stage, for those who never played or cared that much for video games) walked out. The boss happened to be the reception drill sergeant I had in the Army (reception is the week that is before you enter basic training) with a live chainsaw. Anywho, I must say that this nightmare could read my mind, and facial features. I do recall my first phone call home while at reception, my brother answered and I joked about how walking into the Army life was ‘killing me.’ Really, it was in a way, getting away from everyday life and going to a military base with everyone treating you like crap. The person more responsible for that was the ugly female drill sergeant with sort of a weight problem.

The nightmare had her approach us calmly with the chainsaw, announcing to me (or us) to head to the latrine (or restroom in the civilian language) to go and shave. I recall saying in a ruthless way that I was no longer in the Army and I didn’t have to take any orders from her. That upset her with revving the chainsaw and announcing that she was going to rip my face off with it. She then charged at me with that chainsaw.

So, with that being said, considering the arsenal of weapons I have, what would one do if a person was charging at him or her with a live chainsaw while one has may automatic weapons, just grab one or two (or three) and shoot at that very motivated and angry target.

And she drooped, along with across the ‘screen’ saying Mission Cleared with a voice-over sounding much like a game show announcing confirming this.

I remember it fading out and into a different level. This level appeared to be a city inside a cave, with two life bars indicating the two enemies that were somewhere in this level. It looked like a 64-bit city with large rocks pretending to be buildings. Up front of me and my artificially intelligent deformed who ran around a building as a step forward. Along with most of the buildings around me, the Egyptian-style statue was taller than the buildings. As I approached the statue, it rotated it’s head facing me and said, “Where’s my money, bitch?”

To give a comparison of what this living statue looked like, if you ever played StarFox 64 and did the final stage on easy mode, just before you face the almighty Andross, you follow this Egyptian monster in this cave who runs away from you and throws all the obstacles in your way while you blast away at him piece by piece. Now, imagine this guy very tall with a face vaguely similar to Olmec in that 90’s Nickelodeon game show Ledgens Of The Hidden Temple. If you recall, Olmec’s eyes lit up when he (or it) spoke. With these Egyptian guys, their eyes didn’t lit up, and their lips didn’t move when they spoke.

So, obviously, the mission objective is to eliminate the two enemies, later finding out there is a second very tall Egyptian robot (can I call them that?) who asked me, “Where’s my game, bitch?”

I suppose I can call them robots, the voices sound much like a low robotic tone, only with some smug to go along with it, if that makes any sense.

A good advantage I had with this nightmare-slash-game was my ability to jump very high. I could jump onto the tall 64-bit skyscrapers and rocks. I also jumped from one building to another with ease. I also remembered that there was weapons available on top of these buildings, plus taking shots at these robots who seem to just walking around with no real purpose. Yet, when I was right by them, they would ask about the missing money or game, ending it with bitch. Later, I’d guess one of the robots had some missing money while the other had his Atari Jaguar stolen (ha-ha). Another thing they would ask is, “What are you doing, bitch?”

Trying to kill you two? That seems to be the object.

I recalled that bullets didn’t do anything to these giant potty-mouthed Egyptian robots (they did call me a bitch), so I scrambled around the joint to find a rocket launcher with only one rocket available. Having all these weapons on me didn’t seem to slow me down, even while equipped (ditto on the GTA series, only having some weapons equipped and ready to fire slows down your guy. I.E, the chainsaw or rocket launcher). I stood on-top of one of the buildings almost as tall as the enemies, and one approached not paying attention to me at all. I launched a missile and it hit the target, right in his face. However, after that little animated explosion, no visible damage was done and it did a little dent on his life bar.

He rotates his head to me and says, “Why’d you hit me, bitch?”
Ditto on his lips not moving.

But, he decided to try to hit me by raising his palm parallel to the wall and attempting to push me off of the building (like if he was slapping somebody in the face his size). Since I was able to jump high, I could easily avoid being pushed off and the onslaught for me to eliminate the two Egyptian robots who seemed to only ask questions and having them all end with bitch had continued.

My partner in crime, I suppose, was something I didn’t spare too much thought into (has one put thought when they dream). But after a while, a split screen had popped-up much like the ones they have on a TV back in the early 90s, a little rectangle on the lower right with a white border had suddenly popped-up. Inside of this rectangle was my ally being stepped on and crushed by a big Egyptian foot of one of these robots. The bad news was right there, it was me against the world, or two Egyptian robots who happen to be five-hundred feet tall.

For the rest of the duration to Adrian’s Nightmare (stealing that from the aforementioned game with the similar music), I was looking for the weapons that actually did hurt them a tad. I fired away, jumping fro one building to another to avoid me getting killed. While these big bad dudes were asking me where their money was, where their game was and why I hit them.

My nightmare was interrupted by somebody knocking at my front door of my home. At that time, I was on my way to being twenty-two years old and just out of the military, living at mom’s house. The knocking had slowly got me out of the nightmare and into a regaining reality where I could barely hear “Where’s my money, bitch?”

One of my new friends happen to be at the door at that nine-in-the-morning hour, which was unusual for him because he often sleeps in. He just had one of those days were one sleeps for a few hours and woke up feeling 100 percent. He wanted to go to CVS and also wanted me to come with. I got dressed with a pair of pants and a light jacket on and shoes on my feet to walk against that January Michigan wind, while telling him about the nightmare where some very tall Egyptian robots were trying to kill me and calling me a bitch a number of times.


Categories: Short Story, Humor, Adrian Henderson

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1 Comment

Reply jipper
2:28 PM on January 6, 2011 
"What a dream, Bitch?"

After reading this I:
A) Laughed my arse off
B)Had diarhea
C)Coughed up blood
D)Dreamnt of Lindsey Lohan barking orders while waving a chainsaw

You do understand of course that these nightmares are a direct result of your military duty, and you should seek assistance from your nearest Veteran's Hospital. They have a ward called the Johnson Unit( named for a PFC Alvin J., an Viet Era soldier) that has the latest in theraputical techniques.

The Luck
Go 7th CAV
Jip