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A Ride To Tornoto, Chapter Two

Posted on May 24, 2010 at 6:04 PM

After traveling down the highway, making a stop at a Burger King in a small village of Plympton- Wyoming and getting over the culture shock (Gas priced by the quart, and burgers cooked well due to the higher health standards) we got back on the 402. That took us to the end of 401, which was south of London. We made a stop in Woodstock (Woodstock, Ontario and not the one your all thinking about) to fill up and stop at a Tim Horton's. I had to take a dump in their strange toilets (More culture shocks to come) .

We continued on the 401, passing Kitchener, Norman, Cambridge, Belleville, and Mississauga. (Where we had to slow down for a traffic jam due to an accident, no one was killed though). A dumb ass like me who had never been this far into Canada had to learn fast if I wanted the cash. The traffic was so bad all the way to Toronto. Russ was blabbing away, and telling me about the women's intentions in Toronto, besides practicing law. He did mention that they were lesbians and said "I have no problems with it, it's their business." 

When I walked into the house in Ferndale, to see two women and one bed, I already knew they were lesbians. I replied a simple "oh". 
I feared saying, "well, no shit. They live in Ferndale, and sleep in the same bed, I knew they were lesbos before I showed up there."
But Russ would say something like, "what the Sam Hill did you say? Git outta my truck you gay bashing asshole!"
Then I would be a lost American in Toronto. I can picture myself in a Toronto homeless shelter with a bunk mate asking me, "how did you become homeless, eh?"
I would have to say, "Well, I was doing a job for someone moving, and I made fun of this guy's daughter for being a lesbo, and he kicked me out of his truck and sped off." 

No family member would help me if this happened, unless I had a couple grand in my pocket, which I sure the hell did not. I'm one the black sheep of my family (I imagine you're saying, 'well, no shit.)

Getting to the heart of Toronto had created two obstacles. One was the heavy traffic, the other was that we lost sight of the girls. I asked Russ to call them, but he had no service here in Canada as well. I asked him if he printed directions to their new house, but he said that he was just going to follow the girls. 


Fucking grand! 


We're lost, don't know where the lesbians are, I asked Russ if he knew where the house was, but with some rudeness in his tone he told me to relax. A little while later, I saw the lesbos, and Russ tells me we were getting off at Yonge street. Russ then blabbed on about other stuff and how he didn't like me questioning the move or his lack of directions. Again, I didn't want to add fuel to the fire, so I didn't say another word. 

Upon getting off at the Yonge street exit, I knew Russ would get pissed off, but I suggested that we keep close to the lesbos.
He said, "What the fuck do you think I'm doing?"
I was just looking out for me in this situation, and not make it any worse by having this fuck up losing them again without a way to contact them unless we found a payphone. 

Toronto sure has it's share of walkers though. And why not? If everything was so close to me, including my job I wouldn't even have a car. One less pain in the ass!

Categories: Adventure, Robbee Thomas, Short Story

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1 Comment

Reply Phil Neale
7:37 AM on May 26, 2010 
Amen to that, and I did feel that the pace was picking up in this part.